Anxiety

I have very bad anxiety, I have had it since I was a young child, but of course at that time I had no clue that's what it was. Every day at the same time I would get the butterflies in the tummy feeling, I would go sit in the school library and read a book, I had to keep the same routine. I still feel this way, I need to keep a familiar routine or my entire day will be off.

I have seen a doctor about this, been put on the medication Effexor but I have terrible side effects from it and stopped taking it. It gives me an upset stomach, pain and burning in my stomach, loss of appetite, headaches, pain in my jaw, nausea etc... and makes my blood sugar go really high and out of control. So currently I am on nothing. The medication did help a bit with the anxiety and depression.

I was seeing a psychiatrist, but felt she was not a good fit for me at all. I couldn't talk to her about things or open up. She was more interested in Cognitive Behavior Therapy and I thought this would help, changing the way I think about stuff. It didn't. And what is the use seeing a professional when you can't open up and you sit there pretending to be happy at that moment. I'd rather find a doctor I can communicate with through email, for me it is easier to be open and honest and let my feelings out this way than it is in person.